12-01-2020, 06:41 PM
Hello and welcome to the forum!
Just to let you know, the first 3 posts are moderated to help keep out spam and bots.
Thank you for sharing your story and for opening up about your situation.
The short answer is - Don't feel guilty.
For my long answer -
You can feel happy that you were exposed to some sort of Judaism and that you have the freedom to investigate and learn for yourself.
There are many in your situation. Although you may not be sure if you are Jewish or not unless you can be sure your mother's mother was. There are many other people like you who have questions as well, even those born as a Jew. With all of the assimilation, many Jewish people are searching their roots and looking for meaning in their lives and Judaism.
So no, being introduced to Judaism through what you describe as a problematic practice shouldn't determine your life. It is what you do moving forward.
So I see the choices as follows -
You can find out who was Jewish in your family, if anyone, and that could determine whether you are Jewish or not.
You can look into what conversion entails and determine if that is where your life is leading you to, realizing it is a lifelong journey and commitment that has many challenges (with a lot of joy as well!).
You can look into what Noahides practice and see if that is a path you would like to take. Basically being who you are and following the teachings of the Hebrew bible.
That's just my 2 cents and I'm sure others here might be able to add or subtract to what I have said.
Either way, I wish you the best on your journey and want you to know we are here to answer questions and help as we can.
Just to let you know, the first 3 posts are moderated to help keep out spam and bots.
Thank you for sharing your story and for opening up about your situation.
The short answer is - Don't feel guilty.
For my long answer -
You can feel happy that you were exposed to some sort of Judaism and that you have the freedom to investigate and learn for yourself.
There are many in your situation. Although you may not be sure if you are Jewish or not unless you can be sure your mother's mother was. There are many other people like you who have questions as well, even those born as a Jew. With all of the assimilation, many Jewish people are searching their roots and looking for meaning in their lives and Judaism.
So no, being introduced to Judaism through what you describe as a problematic practice shouldn't determine your life. It is what you do moving forward.
So I see the choices as follows -
You can find out who was Jewish in your family, if anyone, and that could determine whether you are Jewish or not.
You can look into what conversion entails and determine if that is where your life is leading you to, realizing it is a lifelong journey and commitment that has many challenges (with a lot of joy as well!).
You can look into what Noahides practice and see if that is a path you would like to take. Basically being who you are and following the teachings of the Hebrew bible.
That's just my 2 cents and I'm sure others here might be able to add or subtract to what I have said.
Either way, I wish you the best on your journey and want you to know we are here to answer questions and help as we can.