What's a C-rat? I'm German and my good Google translator doesn't know it either.
I know the experience of living in long past situations and the feeling that there is no escape. You may have heard of post traumatic stress disorder. Our body /soul isolates life threatening experiences - physically they say in the amygdala - so a person can continue with his every day life and survive. But the damage in the soul isn't healed. Every time when a trigger comes along (or without a trigger), the old memories come back. It's a long way out of this dark hole, a lifelong process.
I know the experience of living in long past situations and the feeling that there is no escape. You may have heard of post traumatic stress disorder. Our body /soul isolates life threatening experiences - physically they say in the amygdala - so a person can continue with his every day life and survive. But the damage in the soul isn't healed. Every time when a trigger comes along (or without a trigger), the old memories come back. It's a long way out of this dark hole, a lifelong process.