06-01-2022, 10:38 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2022, 11:30 AM by back again.)
Note sent the same query to Chabad.com
05/31/2022
ID 5641485
I received a reply 06/09/2022
Thank you for your letter; please forgive the long delay in responding to you.
There's no magic answer as to how to ensure that chlldren will grow into adults that the parents envisioned. We are not meant to create a human being who is identical to ourselves. Upon becoming a parent, one assumes the obligation to protect and nurture and nourish the child. We're responsible to raise an infant to independent adulthood. Every parent's imperative is to find the most healthful diet to nurture their child. The most healthful diet in food, in values and moral behaviours. And then, at some point, a parent has to recognize that she/he has done all they can to raise this adult who is a completely autnomous being, and now free to make her/his own decisions. Most of all, a child has to be raised with the secure knowledge t hat the parent's love and caring is unconditional. A child has to know that she/he does not need to 'earn' the parents' love by meeting the parents' approval. That's what unconditonal love means; love that's about the child,not about the parent.
Needless to say, there's much much more to be said on the subject...but tell me what you're thinking and then we can discuss this further.
Bronya Shaffer
for Chabad.org
Browse the Archive of Questions & Answers:
http://www.chabad.org/k13032
-------------------------------------
Please help Chabad.org continue to serve you, and millions of others.
Please make a contribution here: www.chabad.org/donate?sc=feedback-5641485
05/31/2022
ID 5641485
I received a reply 06/09/2022
Thank you for your letter; please forgive the long delay in responding to you.
There's no magic answer as to how to ensure that chlldren will grow into adults that the parents envisioned. We are not meant to create a human being who is identical to ourselves. Upon becoming a parent, one assumes the obligation to protect and nurture and nourish the child. We're responsible to raise an infant to independent adulthood. Every parent's imperative is to find the most healthful diet to nurture their child. The most healthful diet in food, in values and moral behaviours. And then, at some point, a parent has to recognize that she/he has done all they can to raise this adult who is a completely autnomous being, and now free to make her/his own decisions. Most of all, a child has to be raised with the secure knowledge t hat the parent's love and caring is unconditional. A child has to know that she/he does not need to 'earn' the parents' love by meeting the parents' approval. That's what unconditonal love means; love that's about the child,not about the parent.
Needless to say, there's much much more to be said on the subject...but tell me what you're thinking and then we can discuss this further.
Bronya Shaffer
for Chabad.org
Browse the Archive of Questions & Answers:
http://www.chabad.org/k13032
-------------------------------------
Please help Chabad.org continue to serve you, and millions of others.
Please make a contribution here: www.chabad.org/donate?sc=feedback-5641485