02-14-2019, 10:06 PM
(02-14-2019, 09:19 PM)Dena Wrote: They talk about being the skunk at the garden party but I thought, how can we be the skunk with people who genuinely have no idea what they are saying/supporting, without embarrassing or alienating them? Those are the people I am more likely to encounter in my life. For example, I recently went to see Fiddler on the Roof with a friend who didn't know Jews have often been expelled from their homes. She knows nothing of antisemitism. Another friend made a comment about Jews being good with money and she meant it as a compliment, contrasted with her own personal financial irresponsibly. I want to speak freely but also not hurt their feelings. Like, how do you bring up the topic with the guy in the Corbyn shirt without making him feel stupid in front of everyone?
I think the surest way to distinguish between benign ignorance and malice is in the person's reaction to your gentle words explaining what's wrong with what they have just said or done – especially if spoken quietly, without intention of embarrassing that person in front of others.
The benignly ignorant person will listen to what you have to say, give it consideration, and genuinely feel bad that they might have said or done something hurtful to you. The malicious person will get defensive, take umbrage over what you have to say, and attack you for it.
I don't mind alienating a malicious person. He's already made up his mind, and there's nothing you can say that's going to change it.
!לחיים