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Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino
Reports are circulating (yet to be confirmed) that a group of New York investors want to build a Jewish-themed hotel/casino in Las Vegas.  Oy vey!  A Jewish hotel/casino in “Sin City”.  What will the goyim think? Yet, given the fact that a large number of Jewish people come to Vegas each year, and that the current mayor of Las Vegas is nice Jewish “girl” from Philadelphia, Carolyn Goodman.  It seems like a logical choice.

Location for this planned hotel is still speculative, but reports are that the new hotel will be built somewhere on or near “The Strip”. Not much is yet known. Yet, some of the proposals for this hotel/casino have filtered out. The wings of the hotel/casino will be named for old-time Catskills "Borscht Belt" hotels: the Nevele, Grossinger's, Kutshers, Concord, and Raleigh. Four or five restaurants are planned. One will be called "The Nosh." It would be a 24/7 kinda place that would feature a quick bite to eat. There would be gluz coffee and tea, cream sodas, along with Danish, bagels, bubke, cream cheese schmeers, rugulah, herring (schmalts, of course) blintzes and knishes (my mouth is watering).

Then there's "The Esen." It's an upscale restaurant that would serve Jewish delicacies like flayshidicke borscht, krepluch, kasha varnishkas, kishka, cholent, luction kugel, tsimmes, gefilte fish, and of course chicken soup, i.e., Jewish penicillin.  For dessert: Apple strudel, mandelbrot, kichel, and rainbow cookies. (Boy, am I getting hungry).

For those who prefer deli treats, there'll be "The Hard Lox Café." It'll feature lean corned beef, pastrami, tongue, kosher franks, plus potato salad, cole slaw, and half-sour pickles  Sauerkraut will be also be available.  There's a choice of rye pumpernickel, and plain ol’ white bread (What is it that Milton Berle once quipped: “Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.”).

Of course, there'll be non-kosher fare. The restaurant, "The Chaserei," will feature "traif" items like lobster, clams, oysters, and pork dishes.  Yuck!

Then, of course, there'll be a Chinese restaurant. It's been said that if a Jewish neighborhood doesn't have a good Chinese restaurant, one shouldn't live there.

The hotel is said to feature an upscale health spa called "The Shvitzbud." It'll remind one of the old "Sitz und Shvitz" places of New York City and the Catskills.  M’chei’yeh!

There will be a high roller room called "Der Groisser Macher." It will feature $50 and $100 minimums. Then, at the other end of the spectrum will be "The Schlepper Room." It will feature penny slots, free-spin machines and free-play keno. You’re even welcome to go “silver-mining” (looking for coins that were left behind in slot-machine troughs; yet, you won’t find many of those around).

As you enter the hotel, before you reach the reservation desk, there's the” "Such A Deal Room." It's a room where you can brag what a great deal you got on airfare, hotel, car rental, etc.  You can also gnash your teeth that someone else came up with a better deal than you did. Sort of: "Can You Top This?"

Then, off to the side, there's "The Bragging Room." You can kvell  about your son or son-in-law, "The Doktor." Or, your daughter or son, "The Advokat." There's even a lady called "The Shadchen" who will try to arrange a date for your unmarried daughter or son. "Have I got a girl for you!"  There’s also a Jewish wedding chapel just in case the shadchen introduces you to your b’shert

There are several shops planned.  One is called: “I Can Get For You Wholesale!”  Keep an eye open for m’tsee’ahs.  Another is called: "Have I Got A Deal For You!"  Yet, another slated boutique (if you can call it that) is said to be called: “The Shmateh Tsimer,” You can pick up some nice tchotchkes there. 

There is also speculation that there'll be "A Shrink Room." It could be called "The Guilt Room." A place where you can go to do tell a resident psychiatrist what a bad person you've been for gambling away thousands of dollars when you should have saved that money for your ainikls’ education, or that you had a lap dance at one of the adult emporiums on Industrial Rd.  Shandeh!

Oh, the cocktail waitresses will be dressed like bubbes complete with babushkas. They'll walk around saying to parents with children, “Kormen eyere kinder!” "Feed your children!”  He/She looks too thin. Esen. Esen." Of course, if you ate too much, they'll call you "a fresser".

Then, there'll be a race- and sports-book called "The Ferd Room." You can feel free to cry out in frustration such Yiddishe expressions as: "Gai in dread arein!" ("Go To Hell!"). Or, "Gai kaken oifen yam!" ("Get Lost!)

As you check out, there will be a special room where you can go over your bill and, if necessary --- argue about or haggle over it for the next several hours. Watch out you don’t miss your flight!

Messages In This Thread
Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino - by velvle - 12-25-2019, 02:41 PM
RE: Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino - by RabbiO - 12-25-2019, 03:01 PM
RE: Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino - by Chavak - 12-25-2019, 03:54 PM
RE: Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino - by Chavak - 12-27-2019, 01:01 AM
RE: Jewish-themed Vegas Hotel/Casino - by RabbiO - 01-17-2020, 04:35 AM

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