question for a parent

[carrot]

Hello, I'm hoping to get some advice. For the record I am not Jewish but I come here in hopes of gaining understanding and help in a matter of your faith.

I've recently had an issue with my son and his use of social media and communications in video games. He has made reference to the holocaust in ways that I think are not intentionally malicious, but are certainly careless and could undoubtedly cause harm or upset. I have spoken to him about this but I don't believe he quite "gets it". I was wondering if any users had any advice on how to address this, particularly on useful resources to point to. He is generally quite emotionally aware and I think he will be receptive. 

I just want to make this right and avoid any upset.

I apologise if this topic is upsetting for anyone or if I have mis-stepped on the rules.

[searchinmyroots]

Hello Carrot and welcome to the forum.

Just to let you know, the first posts are moderated to help keep out spam and bots.

Thank you for your question.

I guess without really knowing what was said or done, it might be hard to provide a suitable answer for this particular situation.

I might suggest though that your son read Night by Elie Wiesel. It might help to reach his emotional side and get a better understanding of what is was like to go through the Holocaust.

I'm sure others here might chime in as well.

[RabbiO]

I agree with SMR. It would help to know exactly whst was said and done and whether those reflect not only attitudes about the Holocaust, but also,attitudes rowards Jews in general.

I note by your spelling of apologize - with an s not a z - that you probably are outside the United States. It might be helpful to know what part of the world you call home.

[carrot]

Thank you both for your replies.

searchinmyroots - thanks for the book recommendation
rabbiO - you're correct, we're from the south of England.

I had avoided writing what he'd said in attempt to not cause any upset, although I appreciate this probably doesn't help address the actual issue.

So he was playing an online shooting game with some friends and some other children from school. A few of them are a bit of a bad crowd and are going through what I hope is just an "edgy phase" where they say and do things for a reaction.

A few of this crowd were making flippant remarks and jokes about the Holocaust, pretending to be Nazi guards and so on. My son said this was winding him up and they were being "stupid", so he blurted out something like "oh exterminate the untermensh gas them all". I heard him say this (hence the message here) and it sounded like his "sarcastic voice", but I was still really shocked at what he said. As I said in my original comment I don't think this was done maliciously. I hope it was done sarcastically to challenge these children (not that this makes it okay) and I suppose I'm worried that he just said it carelessly without thinking. I want to address this with him effectively as I think this is a real teachable moment. I will look into the book recommended by searchinmyroots, but if there are other ideas I'd greatly appreciate them.

[Blue Bird]

Hello Carrot and welcome to the forum. Interesting that you in England also write s instead of z.

Personally, I don't like the idea of a video game about the Holocaust because it leaves me with a dark feeling when this is used as a game. I have to accept that younger people spend more time playing video games than reading biographies.

I recently watched a documentary about a Jew who created a video game about the Holocaust.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkKs4thycxg

https://www.mopop.org/about-mopop/the-mo...-darkness/

[COmentator]

you are right to be worried....ask 1) where did he learn this phrase? 2) Does he understand what it means?

I came across this article on speech by children...
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_c...-Speak.htm

[Blue Bird]

I think I don't really want to hear the answer... just for yourself, someting that came to my mind.

What is your attitude towards this topic? I'm "surprised" that your son and his friends use such words in your presence.

[carrot]

Hello Carrot and welcome to the forum. Interesting that you in England also write s instead of z.

Personally, I don't like the idea of a video game about the Holocaust because it leaves me with a dark feeling when this is used as a game. I have to accept that younger people spend more time playing video games than reading biographies.

I recently watched a documentary about a Jew who created a video game about the Holocaust.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkKs4thycxg

https://www.mopop.org/about-mopop/the-mo...-darkness/

Hi the game itself was Fortnite or call of duty or something. It wasn't specifically about the Holocaust I would take issue with that outside of educational tools possibly.

you are right to be worried....ask 1) where did he learn this phrase?  2) Does he understand what it means?

I came across this article on speech by children...
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_c...-Speak.htm

He knows the idea it expressed is wrong, but he's put forward that he wasn't endorsing the idea, and wanted to mock the people doing so. Thank you for the link I'll take a look. I suppose "well intentioned poorly executed" is the phrase I'd use? I'm not sure where he learnt it (he isn't either) but I think popular media has a role in this (South Park casualised a lot of this for an earlier generation...). I have no reason to think he's into any of those far right groups, he doesn't even like Andrew Tate.

Edit: I suppose to try to move this to a learning space, are there good resources on how to talk about the Holocaust, for him? I'll start with Night by Elie Wiesel as above.

[Blue Bird]

As a child, I have heard and seen far too many pictures, statistics and facts to feel compassion. I think a softer approach that young people can relate to could help feel and see through people's eyes. ("Im Labyrinth des Schweigens" with English subtitles for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jGxe6auuTg - about the beginning of the Auschwitz trial under Fritz Bauer in Frankfurt).

[Blue Bird]

Hello Carrot and welcome to the forum.

Just to let you know, the first posts are moderated to help keep out spam and bots.

Thank you for your question.

I guess without really knowing what was said or done, it might be hard to provide a suitable answer for this particular situation.

I might suggest though that your son read Night by Elie Wiesel. It might help to reach his emotional side and get a better understanding of what is was like to go through the Holocaust.

I'm sure others here might chime in as well.

I'm listening to Elie Wiesel in Yiddish, it feels like it just happened.

Un di velt hot geshvign