why is judaism better about keeping out the losers?

[MatthewColorado]

There's no secret to it. You just need to involve yourself in a community and let them know your thoughts clearly.

I mean, as long as you're honest and reasonable, you shouldn't encounter problems - except if you want to convert to Orthodoxy and are not ready to move into the community. You cannot be converted if you don't live within the community. You realize that, since you experienced it.

Is the Reform shul that you've been studying in a place where you are challenged to think and to question? Do they have education classes and intro to Judaism classes?

I have had some people treat me very well after talking to me for a few moments and asking why i am interested. The "Orthodox" in my community literally only asked family questions and referred me to other Rabbi's that then referred me back to them. They never once asked me about my interest in Torah, my thoughts on mitzvot, nothing at all.  The reform community was extremely inviting and i do appreciate that and acknowledge them for it. In particular the Rabbi i am currently sponsored by is Reform although i don't fully understand why other than he says the local orthodox individually tear their toilet paper sheets before the sabbath to not break any prohibitions.

My sponsoring Rabbi does keep kosher, is Sabbath observant, does believe in at least most of the Oral Torah and Rabbinic law overall. The Intro to Judaism classes i am taking do include several Rabbi's some whom are very good and more traditional, but more highly liberal highly reform than anything. It is just kind of annoying someone taking out Hashem from the Torah and then trying to teach it to me like a purely historical liberal college course from California. Some are worse than others honestly but the class is like 98% reform and you can tell it is ingrained in the entire community and so you either have really liberal communities that treat the Torah very loosely and carelessly, or Ultra Orthodox that only care if your mother or father was born a Jew, they all dress exactly the same, do not drive, women do not leave the homes, and no one communicates with people outside of their community unless the Rabbi has approved it. Generally from my education those are all signs of a cult so i am very confused with this community.

Can you tell me if most Orthodox are like that? Because generally i have heard Rabbi Tovia Signer say how embarrassed he is of the Ultra Orthodox and how they are a tiny representation of Judaism and generally he doesn't even pay them any attention. I do not know that from first hand knowledge so i only know what i hear and the one area i have physically seen myself.