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Anger Management
#1
The four types of temperament:

1. Those who are easily angered and easily appeased.

2. Those whom it is hard to anger but hard to appease.

3. Those whom it is hard to anger and easy to appease. *

4. Those whom it is easy to anger and hard to appease.

Ethics of the Fathers 5:14 . .Well. .Sorta. . This is something that needs to really be synced, and let sink into us.
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Reading through one of my favorite authors ( Rabbi Joseph Telushkin ) last evening. Since those temperaments are easy for us to assess other people. It may be a little more tricky being honest with ourselves. We are not perfect people. We won't always fit into one category every time. Some days we just get up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe we are dealing with an individual that we have had some history, and it clouds our normal reaction. There are any number of ways in a self examination that could keep us from being fair with ourselves.

Whats seems important is that we have an awareness when it comes to our reactions. We can give ourselves a multiple choice option.

That 4th one on the list is the worst, and has even been described as even wicked. Sadly that may be true of our reaction at some point in our lives when dealing with others. But with better understanding of how this is categorized, we can step up today, and decide for ourselves all the tomorrows.

This type of self inventory requires us to be fearless and thorough. If we really don't like what we see. We can, through self examination begin to change. Just wondering what are some of the steps we could suggest taking to improve ourselves, and our outlook about other people ?
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#2
(01-20-2019, 05:20 PM)Baruch wrote: Just wondering what are some of the steps we could suggest taking to improve ourselves, and our outlook about other people ?

I would start by determining what it is that makes one angry.  And, most importantly, determine whether the things that makes one angry are perceived slights and injustices done to oneself, or injustices that one sees being done to other people.
 
The first probably merits anger management.  I think the second merits action.
Heart !לחיים

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#3
I think we must know that we don't always understand what people's circumstances are and why they are acting a certain way.

If we don't know what's going on in their lives (and we may never know) we shouldn't just assume that person is acting "wrong".

Of course that person has to deal with this them self, but we shouldn't react in a negative way and be angry unless we really know the reason behind it.

That's my 2 cents anyway!
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#4
According to my copy of Pirkei Avot, this is from 5:15, not 5:14.

There are four types of temperament:
(1) One who is easily angered and easily pacified – his loss is canceled by his gain.
(2) One who is hard to anger and hard to pacify – his gain is canceled by his loss.
(3) One hos is hard to anger and easily pacified is pious.
(4) One who is easily angered and hard to pacify is wicked.
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#5
(01-21-2019, 03:54 PM)Jason wrote: According to my copy of Pirkei Avot, this is from 5:15, not 5:14.

There are four types of temperament:
(1) One who is easily angered and easily pacified – his loss is canceled by his gain.
(2) One who is hard to anger and hard to pacify – his gain is canceled by his loss.
(3) One hos is hard to anger and easily pacified is pious.
(4) One who is easily angered and hard to pacify is wicked.

I looked again to make sure, and it appears to be 5:14

Here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article...chapter-5/

I checked several other sources, and they also reference 5:14. It has been edited by me as to be gender neutral. I think both men, and women equally fit the criteria for anger issues. And since these sources also change up the wording to make a specific point. I also did just that as well. I also added a note below to suggest that it has been edited.  I don't feel I have taken away from the text. If anything it has been customized to fit this specific discussion about anger within the realm of ethics.  


Quote:Ethics of the Fathers 5:14 . .Well. .Sorta. .
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#6
Sefaria shows ...

5:14 - There are four temperaments among those who go to the House of Study: ...

5:15 - There are four temperaments among those who sit before the sages: ...
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#7
(01-21-2019, 04:35 PM)Baruch wrote:
(01-21-2019, 03:54 PM)Jason wrote:
(4) One who is easily angered and hard to pacify is wicked.

If you see someone who is being bullied and it immediately makes you angry, and you will NOT be quiet, sit down, and be pacified, does that make you wicked?
Heart !לחיים

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#8
Baruch.

Are you asking people to identify which of the four temperaments most likely fits their own personality?  And, after doing so how they then might be better prepared to develop an improved outlook towards other people?

There are situations in life that should evoke anger in even the most mild-mannered individual.  I can think of plenty.

I would also think a habit of nursing resentments would feed into developing an angry personality, unable to forgive as something to recognize and be avoided.  It may not come naturally, but developing a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than assign dishonest or malevolent intent would do much to ward off an angry disposition that would be inclined to hold a grudge.

I've met people that boast about holding grudges. To me, that is counter productive to maintaining health, both physical and mental.
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#9
(01-21-2019, 08:49 PM)Dana wrote: Baruch.

Are you asking people to identify which of the four temperaments most likely fits their own personality?  And, after doing so how they then might be better prepared to develop an improved outlook towards other people?

I'm not sure exactly what I am asking.

I read the books, and am still filled with questions. The book would appear to be aimed at domestic arguing. When we argue it should be limited to the current problem. We don't need to back up into the past and rehash it all over again. We should not even use words like  " You Always " - " You Never ". Not only are those words untrue. They just complicate settling the argument.

But having our generalized anger being gauged is also unfair. We should make an effort to be conscience about anger. But on the other hand we should show anger at some situations. I really appreciate you, SMR, and Channalee for commenting. More questions will just mean more to think about when it comes to anger.

I don't know that we can help feeling anger. Even if we don't speak, is it still wrong ? Some types of anger are justified. Then perhaps we acquire a type of immunity at certain types of anger, and are no longer angry.

The 4th one " Those whom it is easy to anger, and hard to appease. " I can see where if that is a generalized mentality of a person they will live a horrible life. They also cause misery for other people.

I probably should have just asked for any additional comments.
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#10
(01-21-2019, 07:46 PM)Channalee wrote:
(01-21-2019, 04:35 PM)Baruch wrote:
(01-21-2019, 03:54 PM)Jason wrote:
(4) One who is easily angered and hard to pacify is wicked.

If you see someone who is being bullied and it immediately makes you angry, and you will NOT be quiet, sit down, and be pacified, does that make you wicked?

Are you arguing with me or with Pirkei Avot? Wink
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