Judaism - Choosing to be childless

[Dana]

Can Judaism support the practice of choosing childlessness as an option for a young couple for either pragmatic or philosophical reasons?    A grandmother had phoned in to a religious radio station, conservative program, expressing how she did not want grandchildren and did not encourage her children to give her any.  Her reason was mainly because of over population and the environment including other things.  The radio host  seemed offended by her position.   

There are more young people today choosing not to have children and for multiple reasons.

[Alan_Boskov]

I can't answer this from a Jewish viewpoint. However, the reasons given are understandable, given the planet's state of affairs. I used to also have such thoughts, during my early relationships when times were not nearly as bad as these.
Deciding to bring a child into a world where there is no longer hope for a reasonably secure future will hold that parent responsible, once that child becomes aware that it was born into some degree of slavery.
From a religious point of view, I can only speak from that of a religion of which has branched out from Judaism of which teaches that sexuality is only to be practiced for the purpose of creating children.
Whether or not any such parallels to this claim coincide with those found in the teachings of Judaism or not may likely be debated here.

[searchinmyroots]

Can Judaism support the practice of choosing childlessness as an option for a young couple for either pragmatic or philosophical reasons?    A grandmother had phoned in to a religious radio station, conservative program, expressing how she did not want grandchildren and did not encourage her children to give her any.  Her reason was mainly because of over population and the environment including other things.  The radio host  seemed offended by her position.   

There are more young people today choosing not to have children and for multiple reasons.

I'm no expert in Jewish thought but here are my thoughts on this -

First, we know most of Judaism heavily promotes having children as it is a mitzvah, be fruitful and multiply.

On the other hand, I would have to believe if those who would be parents are not "fit" for the role and might do more harm than good for the child/children, then maybe it might not be a good idea for the to have children.

Of course if it is only for selfish reasons, that needs to be addressed.

I would also think Judaism in general may say be fruitful and multiply and G-d will take care of the rest (food, space, environmental issues for example).

I remember some sort of parable where someone was worried about inviting too many people to an event as there wouldn't be enough room. More people came than was expected but G-d made room for all!

Again, these are just my thoughts and do not represent Judaism in whole (does anything represent Judaism in whole??).

[Dana]

I appreciate reading your thoughts,  Alan and Searchinmyroots.

One favorite aspect of Judaism for me is the diverse thought on matters.  

A previous perspective which I no longer hold and having been born into a Catholic background was to be fruitful and multiply. The family was too large and broke up. The question of selfishness might be asked from the perspective of the unborn child.  Could it be a form of altruism to spare them the inevitable suffering from coming into being? 

These are only my ponderings and I've been searching online for young couples stories as to how their synagogue or church accepts their decisions to remain childless without being stigmatized.  There is not much supporting this form of religious progress.

Thanks!

[searchinmyroots]

It i a great question Dana, I'm going to see if I can find anything online as well.

Not what you are asking, but here is an article that talks about having children to be illogical that I thought was interesting -

https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/ar...cision.htm

[searchinmyroots]

Thinking about this more -

I don't think most of Judaism would "support" the idea of not having children (unless of course it was for health reasons) and I do think they would try to encourage otherwise those who don't want them.

But I also don't think in most cases they would be ostracized either.

Why do you think there will be inevitable suffering from coming into being? I realize this might be the case in some instances but in others I don't think they see the suffering as much or at least they look at it a different way.

I remember watching one of the Peter Santenello YouTube videos he did in the Hasidic community. He was talking about Covid at the time to a teenage boy and asked if he or anyone was afraid of it. The boy said he knew some who passed from it but when it's your time and G-d calls you, then its' time. I think they may have a different perspective on suffering compared to the modern world. Not saying they don't suffer or feel the pain, but they seem to adjust to it differently.

[Alan_Boskov]

...https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/3367833/jewish/Is-Having-Children-a-Logical-Decision.htm

...The Torah is teaching us to care about another person’s impurity and corruption and to do everything within our power to rehabilitate him...

I once read this very same teaching referred from the Eastern Orthodox religion, put in a somewhat different but parallel manner: "Our duty is to point out to our bretheren the error of their ways". I suppose, this teaching is universal among those practicing genuine religions of which separate the religious from the secular, given the outcome of their deeds.
Perhaps getting closer to the answer we are looking for, would it be advisable to plan parenthood in the event of an approaching neutron star?

[Chavak]

I don't think there can be a blanket rule. I would not encourage people to not have children because of environmental reasons, but I also would not encourage people to have children if they don't have a desire to. It is difficult in Judaism (at least in the Orthodox world) to not have kids. I can't even count the number of times that a frum person has looked at me with pity when I tell them I don't have kids.

[Dana]

I don't think there can be a blanket rule. I would not encourage people to not have children because of environmental reasons, but I also would not encourage people to have children if they don't have a desire to. It is difficult in Judaism (at least in the Orthodox world) to not have kids. I can't even count the number of times that a frum person has looked at me with pity when I tell them I don't have kids.

Catholicism in the 50's and 60's, the era I was born into  women's bodies were for baby making and if the family broke up from the strain there was always adoption waiting in the wings as if children could be considered interchangeable parts. 

I find in this regard I'm with the  progressive movements that  say no to bringing more children into existence, due to religious obligation.    I think women that were born in that era and chose not to have children had an uphill battle while there were some with the rare foresight to act on choosing a different path.  

My concern lies with children who do not ask to be born, not with the environment and I hope to see the day all religions support the woman's decision to remain childless without explanation.  I'm somewhat on the pessimistic side.

Thanks for commenting Chavak.

[Alan_Boskov]

...Catholicism in the 50's and 60's, the era I was born into women's bodies were for baby making...

While this is no longer a major issue in North America and Europe, this policy still continues in a certain all too familiar cult of which pretends to be a religion, resulting in the formation of a demographic army destined to take control of its host countries. Since Western politicians in power refuse dealing with this menace, the only peacefull alternative available would be to match these invasive numbers through host births.
Is having children part of advancing personal development? In other words, can one reach advanced age maturely, without ever having had children?