08-07-2026, 02:42 PM
(08-04-2026, 12:21 AM)irmadlad Wrote: searchinmyroots
Forgive my ignorance. I was raised in a very oppressively religious, and quite abusive Christian environment. By the belt and by the book, as it were. I was once backhanded across the face for my arrogance in questioning an almighty God. Ever since, these questions that trouble me, have been with me which drives my reading into other religions to see how they compare and what are the common threads. As, I mentioned, of all the religions I've studied, I am embarrassed to say Judaism is not one of them. Perhaps that is my fault.
RE: So who's belief is right? I guess we'll have to wait and find out
That seems a bit late.
Hello irmadlad,
the questions you have layed out are far too many for me to think about at once. When I read the post above however, some thoughts came to me that may or may not be helpful for you.
Growing up with abusive parents make a little child internalize their behaviour. Subconsciously we carry these things with us and whenever an authority, be it God or a boss, we wear these glases of the past without knowing it. I discovered only recently how true that is in my life.
You can read Psalms 136 a hundred times and you will have read "His kindness is eternal" 2.600 times. This should be enough for an ordinarily intelligent person to get the point. Nevertheless there is this inexplicable feeling of cold, mistrust, and the urge to run away. The intellect does not reach the emotional and spiritual (unconscious) sphere of the human being.
I had to go to that God that I mistrusted (to put it mildly) and tell him: I think you are evil and unpredictable.
That is what brought me relief. It's an ongoing process and brings more freedom step by step.